Truth is not practical in a world where everything is built on lies. The fictional story of Jesus is a warning about what happens to those who know the truth.

The bible is not a comedy, it's a tragedy. That's why humanity has built a world full of tragedy. Humans are simply trying to understand the world through the lens of suffering. If all popular religious books are telling humanity that life is full of suffering, then humans will, inevitably, subconsciously expect, and therefore create, a world full of suffering. Now, that's what I call comedy!

Ultimately, all the suffering is self-created. Ironically, those who are awake suffer more, because they know what life could be & how deep humans have dug themselves into. Unfortunately or fortunately, awakening is a one-way street, there's no going back once you cross a certain level of awareness.

If un-awakening was put on the menu of life, I'd order it in a heartbeat. Delusions & illusions can be so delicious. If truth-seekers & those after enlightenment knew what awakening tastes like, they'd run away from it and avoid it like the plague. That's why most of humanity is fast asleep, it's fun!

Awakening is not fun! It's nothing like Disneyland. It is more like walking in a desert with few drops of water. If you are lucky, you might make friends with lizards & snakes, who will probably treat you better than most humans will.

I am trying to figure out a way to speak the truth without getting killed. Since humans have built immunity to the truth, this can be a tricky situation. People don't want to see their ugly sides or the ugly sides of the world they created. In order to face your own ugly sides, you also must face the ugly parts of the world, because, ultimately, they are the same thing. It's all connected, right?

I need to get used to the idea that I don't need to carry everyone on my shoulders or feel guilty when I don't. I'm trying to apply the principle of equality by only taking responsibility for my tiny part. Plus, I am just a visitor to planet Earth & I need to keep my distance from humanity's affairs. As a cosmic tourist, I can only make bitchy commentaries. The rest is up to the natives!

I'm not as weak as I am. Right now I have the willpower of a marshmallow but I refuse to die. Somehow, Death loves me. It punishes me but it won't kill me.

I just don't understand my mission here. I'm tempted to float away like a balloon but there's always a fucking rope pulling me back into this worldly hell.

I try to stay away from society, humans are dangerous creatures. They believe in gods, religions, governments, credit cards, money, and other illusions. I can't fucking sympathize with these delusions. The entire world is a mental hospital. I shouldn't act sane, I'm standing out too much. They spotted me!

My body is the only evidence of my existence on this plane. All my other parts are light years away from this shit-hole, in a better place, much better! I'm here and not here at the same time. This split is murder. Being two things at the same time can be creative but it's not practical. Humans don't approve it!

My insides are liquified, turned into steam. I'm serving a sentence for being sane in an insane world. Can it really get worse than that: to be punished for being good? Don't know how long I can maintain this wide chasm between me and the world, unless I build a bridge or brutally give myself to one side.

I am good at acting but I don't know how long I can pretend to be here. I can't fool the world forever, there's a time limit for everything. Something's gotta give! My intestines are floating out there. I don't know how to pull them back.

I have to get used to being spread everywhere, a little bit here, a little bit there. Soon, I'll dissolve entirely into thin air. Then, I won't owe anything to anybody, I'll be as real as money. Then, maybe then, I'll be totally myself. 

There's a reason why the rest of the world thinks Americans are dumb as fuck. There's a reason for everything, right? A lot of fast food & TV can't be good.

When someone criticizes the U.S. government or capitalism, Americans are so quick to attack and say "well, if you don't like it, then leave America" or "you couldn't write this in Russia or China." Let me make it clear: these are pure idiotic statements to utter in defense of American so-called freedom, so stop!

These arguments are like saying "well, it can be worse" or "it's okay for U.S. to torture its citizens because other nations are doing it too." These are pure idiotic statements. Only an dumb-fuck American would make such arguments.

It's also like saying "it's okay for U.S. government to break your arm because in China, they'd break your legs too." How fucking retarded are these arguments?

What is pure comedy is that while these "defenders" of American "freedom" are still holding on to the last scraps of their "free" nation, United States is turning into a totalitarian fascist state. Soon, I don't have to move to Russia or China to experience a fascist government, fascism will come to America.

One thing that Americans really have to watch out for is not terrorism but hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is the real "enemy" of the United States, it's a more dangerous enemy because it lives inside one's brain. Granted, hypocrisy is human nature, to some degree, but America takes hypocrisy to new heights.

Those idiotic Americans who don't know what is fascism or communism or socialism should not open their big mouths when an intelligent person criticizes the U.S. government or its policies. Remember that those criticizing the U.S. might actually have a valid point & might make your so-called free country a little better. Thus, shut your mouth, deflate your ego, and try to listen more.

I'm partners with YouTube, monetizing my videos with Google AdSense. When I create a video, I submit the video for revenue sharing, and YouTube displays ads alongside my videos. Most of my videos get approved for revenue sharing almost immediately, but some of them get rejected or disabled from revenue sharing. Let's connect the dots and see which videos got rejected and why.

Here are titles of the videos that got rejected from revenue sharing:

1. United States and Fascism (how are they connected?)
2. HOLLYWOOD SECRETS REVEALED!
3. Why The World is Fucked Up and How to Fix it
4. How Money Controls The World
5. How Misfits and Outsiders Change Society.

I have over 200 videos as of now and the above videos are the ONLY ones that got rejected from the revenue sharing program. There's nothing particularly special about these videos that differentiate them from my other videos, EXCEPT the theme, or what I talk about in the video. The background image is my own creation & the audio is my voice. I'm pretty sure I own the copyrights to my own fucking voice. In other words, there's no reason for YouTube to disable revenue sharing for the above videos other than that they did NOT like what I am talking about in these videos. This is when conspiracy theories start to form and rightly so! Is YouTube a place of total free speech or not?

These are the times that I realize just how fascistic current systems are. There are tons of videos on YouTube that are fucking silly, some jackass or bimbo jumping around half-naked, entertaining people. I'm sure those videos get approved for revenue sharing in an instant. But, those of us who are saying something of value, speaking against the current systems, are shut down. My dear & fellow reader, that's fascism, in every sense of the word.

If you try to shut me down because I'm saying something you don't like, you are a fascist. I know it's hard to realize that people have the right to say whatever the fuck they want, but that's what true freedom is about. YouTube does mention that they reserve the right to reject or disable any video from revenue sharing without explanation. Fine, I get that I'm using their service and it's up to them to do what they wish. I'm just showing you what YouTube allows and what they don't allow. By rejecting the above videos, YouTube clearly states that they don't tolerate free speech. They are promoting a specific viewpoint, supporting a certain social and economic system.

I have no problem with a corporation making their rules up as they wish. I just don't like that they lie about it or hide the obvious. In an honest world, YouTube would post a warning saying "We do not allow any videos that speak against the United States government, its imperialistic goals, economic polices, election frauds, secrets, etc." Then, I'd say, okay I've been warned.

Living in a fascist system is bad, but living inside one without knowing that we live under one is even worse. If you want to test how democratic or free a society is, try to speak against it, directly, and see what they do. If they kill you, then you are under a total fascist rule. If they disable your video for revenue sharing, you are still under a fascist rule, just a more slick one!

I did dispute one of the above videos (HOLLYWOOD SECRETS REVEALED!) that was eventually, after about a month, enabled for revenue sharing. I can't see who is sitting behind the computer at YouTube, making decisions about what videos to allow and what not to allow. But, I am smart enough to connect the dots about who might be on the other side and what systems they support.

(Note: it's not just me who has encountered such strict censorship by YouTube. There are countless of freedom-loving & equality-supporting channels that have been completely shut down. Welcome to the world!)

If I could file divorce paper to separate from humanity, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My relationship with society is so abusive, it's pure criminal. I can't seem to operate this machine called society to my benefit. The world is like a one giant corporation & I'm the bad employee who is going to get fired soon.

I still can't decide whether it's just me, who is completely fucked up, or is it the world that is completely fucked up. Either way, it's not good, it's ugly!

Maybe I'm just an example of everything that is wrong with the world. Maybe I'm an archetype of fucked-up-ness, showing humanity everything that is wrong. I just don't feel in control, like I've chosen to play the villain because nobody is wiling to do it, but now I can't carry on playing this ugly part.

Have you seen the movie Black Swan? It's about my life. I'm the fragile young ballerina who is going to destroy herself, be my own victim. I'm trying to change the end of my story, to make it more like happy-ever-after, but it is not working. I always end up getting killed in the end. There will be blood!

My sickness has layers, it extends through the dimensions into eternity. A cosmic virus has infected me, and it's going to destroy me, because it's invisible. There's no cure for an invisible virus, yet. What you don't see can kill you. I can't see my sickness, because it's just a reflection of the world.

I'm just a mirror, reflecting everybody's sickness. This mirror is going to be shattered, the reflections are too ugly. We are all too ugly & we are never going to admit it, so we're going to break the mirror. I'm the fucking mirror!

I get extreme joy out of butchering religious beliefs, it's my favorite hobby. There's NOTHING holy or sacred about religions or religious beliefs. Innocent and brilliant humans have been murdered in the name of religion & god.

It's just not fair how religions squash & shit on brilliance with their ancient bullshit. It's time to stand up to religions, to heal from that infectious disease.

If the base of society is belief then whatever influences those beliefs has the most power. Therefore, religions control society by programming human minds with their venom. North Carolina recently passed a bill banning gay marriage because of an imaginary friend called god. Let's think about this: they are preventing two people from being together because their vicious god "created" marriage between "a man and a woman"? You gotta be fucking shitting me!

See, this is the kind of shit that pisses me off to no end. This is the kind of shit that shows me just how fucked up humanity's collective consciousness is.

Democracy is bullshit, if the majority of humans are programmed robots. There should only be one law: do no harm! Anything else is fucking bullshit.

These are the situations where I'm happy to announce that I'm not from Earth. I don't want to be identifying with such idiotic concepts like democracy, god, or religion. I'm simply analyzing humanity and so far the research is not leading to any optimistic results. The world is in dire need of consciousness.

I just don't believe in being nice to religions. When religions prosecute people, they have no mercy, so why should we have mercy toward religious beliefs? It's not about being vicious, it's about giving religion a taste of its own medicine.

Kathy, a plump & ambitious woman in her late 20s, who suffers from a chronic case of AWS (Attention Whore Syndrom), walks into Dr. Egobuster's office. 

Dr. Egobuster: "You're Kathy, right?"

Kathy: (with attitude) "Aha!" 

Dr. Egobuster: "So, what brings you here?"

Kathy: "My mother! She thinks I should get checked by an EMM. Can you just hurry up?!"

Dr. Egobuster hooks up several wires to Kathy's head and turns on the EMM (Ego Measuring Machine). The machine starts to make really loud noises. After a few seconds, it prints out a long diagnosis of Kathy's condition. Dr. Egobuster examines the diagnosis report with a puzzled face.

Dr. Egobuster: "Oh ... wow! I've never seen an Ego this big."

Kathy: "Whatever! You can't get rid of an Ego anyways."

Dr. Egobuster: "While that may be true, your Ego is overgrown and might be lethal. It must be deflated down to a manageable size, as soon as possible."

Kathy: "Ugh! ... but I'm a reincarnation of a European princess ... it's it genetic? don't I have a right to a big Ego?"

Dr. Egobuster: "I'm afraid not. That's actually a common symptom of BES (Big Ego Syndrom). Take these Humilitix pills twice a day with cold water until your Ego slowly deflates. Your condition is very common these days. I've treated many young woman suffering from BES." 

Kathy: "...but I'm fine ... I have this deep feeling inside that I'm fine ... I don't need anybody's assurance."

Dr. Egobuster: "Well, try these pills out and see if they help. Your life might improve."

Kathy: "Can I go now? I have some things to do."

Kathy briskly walks out of the doctor's office and throws the pills in a trash can. She runs out of the building and sits in her car, sulking. Kathy's mother talks to Dr. Egobuster in the hallway. He picks up the Humilitix pills from the trash can and hands it over to Kathy's mother. Dr. Egobuster instructs Kathy's mother to secretly place these pills in Kathy's drinks, as Kathy's condition affects not just her but also those around her. 

After secretly slipping Humilitix pills in Kathy's drinks for about two weeks, Kathy's conditions starts to improve. Her AWS (Attention Whore Syndrom) subsides. Her Ego is still huge, but it is not as dangerous as it used to be. Kathy does not know how to function without her enormous Ego, but everyone around her is much more content and blissful.

Without her BES (Big Ego Syndrom), Kathy enjoys forming deep and meaningful relationships. Although she relapses now and then, due to social networking sites, the world is a much better place, thanks to an EMM.

Let's write a new dictionary, a real one, with meanings based in reality. Feel free to add your own by commenting to this blog entry. Here's some words:

JOB (synonym: slavery) - something you are defined by, where you trade your life for a few coins, legalized or voluntary slavery.

CARS (synonym: environmental destruction) - heavy metal boxes with wheels, headache-creating machines, destroying the planet and silence, one mile at a time.

POLITICS (synonym: theater) - a theory of freedom, where actors pretend they will help their community by updating their resumes.

AMERICA (synonym: imperialism) - a psychologically-challenged country, located on the North American continent, produces propaganda films through Hollywood, think it's cool but it's not, an overconfident bully. 

RELIGION (synonym: cult) - a gathering of lost sheep who want to make themselves feel good by pretending that everything in this miserable world is perfectly fine, because a fairytale character will come and rescue them.

MONEY (synonym: debt) - a form of exchange and a form of control, a new slavery system, sometimes you can buy poisonous drugs with it, the mother of all religions.

TELEVISION (synonym: propaganda) - a hypnosis-inducing plastic box, broadcasting propaganda in the form of colorful visuals, programming human minds, one frame at a time.

COLLEGE (synonym: business) - paying to be programmed for a specific job (slavery), getting a piece of paper that allows you to become a highly paid slave, feeling good about yourself, inflation of ego.

STD (synonym: pop music) - symptoms include marriage, addiction to alcohol and movies, a very hard-to-cure diseases, caught due to peer pressure and corrupted education & entertainment systems.

See, this is what a real dictionary looks like, where definitions are firmly based on concrete reality, instead of abstract concepts based on idealistic visions.

Before I discuss why positive thinking does not work, let me talk about the illusion of free will, because I must lay that as a foundation for my argument.

The illusion of FREE WILL:

To say that you have FREE WILL as a human being implies that you can create any reality you want at any moment, which you can't, therefore FREE WILL is an illusion. However, you do have choices within a very limited circumstances.

Don't get me wrong! You did have total FREE WILL before you incarnated as a human being, but after your incarnation in a human body, you lose your complete & total FREE WILL, because your consciousness must operate within layers of programmed systems like body, mind, emotions, economics, etc.

Why POSITIVE THINKING does NOT work:

I just explained how FREE WILL, or total control, is an illusion. With that said, positive thinking does not work and will never work, because, by practicing "positive thinking", you are essentially implying that you can control your thoughts, which you can't, that's why your life is a complete mess, right?

So what are you suppose to do with negative thoughts? You have to face them, or bring them to consciousness. Trying to change negative thoughts does not work, it is not logical & will NEVER work. By simply facing all thoughts, or all sides of yourself, you can bring them to consciousness, dissolving them. Consciousness can dissolve negative thoughts by diffusing them, so they are less dense, and thus less able to cause you discomfort.

Also, it's important to find out WHY you are having negative thoughts, instead of trying to change them. Negative thoughts come from repressed emotions, & repressed emotions come from deep & unconscious beliefs, not the other way around. The popular consensus is that by changing your thoughts you can change your reality. That's totally FALSE! It's the other way around, by changing your reality, you have a better chance at changing your thoughts.

The physical reality is an effect of consciousness, but you don't have control over consciousness and you can't. So, to change the inner reality, you must change the outer or external reality, not the other way around. Most people think that changing their inner thoughts will change the world. That statement carries a load of assumption, which is that you have control over your inner processes. That's not true at all! People barely have control over their bodily desires, let alone something as powerful & unpredictable as consciousness.

Conclusion:

Free will is an illusion, which renders positive thinking a total waste of time and energy. Instead, negative thoughts should be faced directly. Negative thoughts usually stem from false beliefs or real (deep) fears. Those deep fears must be dealt with directly, instead of trying to control or change thoughts, which are only an effect of unconscious beliefs structures of the mind.

I've got a lot of little woes, but it all boils down to being human. Being human is my sickness & I've got a really bad case of it. Unfortunately, there's no cure.

There's something about this world that is so venomous, it's poison. The worst part is that I know that life doesn't have to be a disease. This shit is not what Life is about. When did life turn into an infection? Human-created mess called world is coming at me with stingers, depositing its venom inside my veins. I'm the fucking good guy, the antibody, the healer. I'm not the fucking disease.

The world is destroying me, unintentionally, of course, but that's not an excuse. The world is still guilty for my death. When will humans take responsibility for killing each other? God does not give a fuck anymore, he gave up on the world long time ago. We are all on our own now. It sucks!

I'm a one-man army and I'm going to lose. I can't play the game, I refuse to. I'm a feather, a dust in the wind. When someone steps on me, It will be over. 

Maybe I'm trying to be more negative than the world so that the world looks better, but in the process I'm consumed. I just don't know who's guilty: me or the world? Who's the guilty party? Perhaps we share the guilt. Either way, there's no cure for being human. I need to learn to live with this sickness.